He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
