She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize