my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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