Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
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I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
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I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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