how do flat chested girls get laid?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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