I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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