Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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