He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
