He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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