She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
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I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
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Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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