i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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