she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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