In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
