I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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