Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
the liver wants what the liver wants
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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