she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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