Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize