how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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