I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
