go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
