he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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