the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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