this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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