My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i will never coherently bang her
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
