my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why do cheetos always look like penises
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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