I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Randomize
