just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
