I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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