I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
