sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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