My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
