We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
