i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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