Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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