i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
