it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
