at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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