do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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