sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
