woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
