At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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