summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
