idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
