she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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