I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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