Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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