Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
