Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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