Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
