This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
