I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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