My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
