those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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