so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
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no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
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I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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