is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
