Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
