her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
