when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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