Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
