I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
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My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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