i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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