p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
