I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
