I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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