You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
