How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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