we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
