He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
