i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My breasts were aching with rage.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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